Class 2 - Death Reborn Revolution

Difficult loading and confusing cases were spreading on the desk.

I was so tried to face all the work because of my distraction or jealousy.

In this chaotic period,

I tried to reflect on myself and found that I was also affected by the peers.

Sometimes, the factual society I have to face in the future makes me cynical and frustrated.

I want to believe what I did and chose.

But, in fact, I was somehow knocked out by the cruel and disability.

Who aren't be of ability to make achievement and become famous?

For myself, I would like to believe success is step by step.



I am the normal and normal to the earth.

"Miserere mei." Give some mercy on me.

I want a mentor to guise my life.

Cause I've been walking alone for a long time.

I want a pal or bosom friend.

Cause I am too weak to stand any independence and isolation.



Where's my happiness and tenderness?

Where's my peace in mind?

Where's the right way?

I hope I do not go wrong so far.

I rely on the God, do I?

Hope this semester will give me the answer.

Class 1 - Gotta Go My Own Way

This was the first week of new semester.

Beside of the new courses and the application of sharing student,

I found that many classmates try to reform their appearance and express their new resolution!?

For myself, I pretended that I was a cool one and behaved indifferently to this peers.

The reason I did that because of the lack of confidence on classmates and friendship.

In addition, some were declined to "depend on" other's decision to make their determination.

Is It hard for them to be independent of others?

Or am I too subject to judge the people I am tired of in the right way?



Yes, I know myself clearly.

I tried to imagine that I was desperate from other's field and stayed alone.

But I just wanna protect my soul for peace and intactness.

When I need someone's help, where are you, guys?

I don't deem the words you said for errands or routine.

If you can not pay some attention on people,

you shall not make a promise or commitment to somebody like me.

Promise is a big word no matter what kind of the form it's expressed by you or me.

Moreover, the question that why are you here and where do you go forward is clear in your mind. We are permitted to ask for some reference but not to quest what your decision is.

The chill and silent wall around me is easy to transpires.

Only if you would like to render your sincerity and inner notions to me will you get the return from my soul and appreciation.



15 credits, hmm...it was a hard work for my last semester.

I used all my efforts to survive from that.

Many of my classmates urge themselves to get 18 this semester.

I assume it should be a huge loading to me.

But why not to give it a try.

Just being silence and talking nothing are the simple way to pass the course, right?

Oops...how cynical I am.



Sound like a pathetic beginning of my new semester.

Well...let it be. I will encourage myself to study hard and to be myself.

Altruism is only existent in the myth and dream.

FRM goes on.

And my life goes on.

Lesson 18 終わり

放空了幾天，心情算是比較平復下來

好像回到大二、大三那時候

我想把所有的認識與人情包袱丟下

那天說的自顧不暇，你大概不了解我深層的意思吧

與其說我想to be myself

倒不如說我是要做到to be my-selfish



的確，我有自我迫害的傾向

往往把自己當成悲劇的主角，然後覺得一切為什都讓我不開心

但是，我所付出的和用過的力氣

有沒有人珍惜過或是體會過呢......

放寬心，不是恣意放縱

而是在有條件之下，大家做好各自的本分

然後彼此能夠信賴與累積默契

或許，這樣太過理想化了

我連這樣的100%都完成不了之前

是沒有什麼資格要求別人，right?



MSN是現代人延續寂寞的最佳工具吧...

我自己有這種感受與經驗

大家上線，感覺彼此的存在

然後呢? 不一定聊些什麼，只不過證明自己不是一個人

深入想想，反而有一種倍加的空虛與寂寞

寧可早一步下線，也不要成為最後離席的來賓

因為這樣要慢慢享受那種逐漸剝離的幸福感

然後孤獨卻一點一滴的增加

不惶多讓的我，寫blog更是一種loneliness集合體的表現

一方面想表達些什麼，但另一個角度又怕被人看穿自己的脆弱



這是這學期的最後一篇

我學到付出努力的過程不能等於結果的高低

但是不去做些什麼，那就別奢想好的結果

另外，我不想再為誰停留

自己的是與非，愛與恨，逐步封鎖



能穿越這關卡的人

就隨你任意透視與嘲笑我殘缺的生命...

Acronym

這也不是今天學到的只是現在可以分得更清楚!!

1.an abbreviation: 把字縮短，然後加上縮寫點(.)

2.an acronym: 許多字形成的專門字意，然後取每個首字的作為簡寫

除了ASAP之外

以下是MSN對話中常見的鬼畫符...



AAMOF：As a matter of fact　事實上。

AFAIK：As far as I know　就我所知。

BTW：By the way　順便一提。

CU：See you　再見，待會兒見。

DIIK：Damned if I know　要是早知道就好了。

F2F：Face to face　面對面。

FAQ：Frequently asked questions　常問問題。

FOF：Friend of friend　暗示資料來源是第三手。

FOTCL：Falling of the chair laughing　笑死人了。

FYA：For your amusement開玩笑的啦！

HHOK：Ha ha, only kidding　哈哈，開開玩笑。

HHOJ：Ha ha, only joking　哈哈，開開玩笑。

IMHO：In my humble opinion　個人淺見。

IMO：In my opinion　依我之見。

IOW：In other words　換句話說。

IWBNI：It would be nice if　如果…會更好。

LOL：Laugh out loud　大聲笑。

OIC：Oh, I see　我了解。

OTOH：On the other hand　另一方面來說。

OTT：Over the top　超越巔峰。

PMJI：Pardon my jumping in　原諒我的介入。

ROTF：Rolling on the floor　在地上打滾。

ROTFLOL：ROTF+LOL　在地上打滾狂笑不已。

TIA：Thanks in advance　先謝了。

TTYL：Talk to you later　待會再談。

Lesson 17 Wretched

I've been almost broken and frustrated.

Though I know the world focusing on the result only but not the process,

may I ask for some mercy from the God?

I need repaired outside and refilled inside.

Would you like to pay one leg and hand to me?

I hope I could have done better then......

I feel myself so imperfect and dirty.

Why did they have better performances then me?

Where did I go wrong on my efforts and destiny...?

Sigh, I wanna be jealous without admiring but try to catch up with you.

As Kcage said that I have to find out my own direction,

not waiting for the answer and help,

but concretely to execute what I want and what I need.

I have no time.....and I am no longer the boy in the past.

I'll be over you soon...

Lesson 16 期末之前

(天氣冷，書念多和工時長的朋友，請用4分鐘動一動唄!!)



伸個懶腰，完成一段小小的進度

低著頭，繼續用功下一個段落

每當這個時候，我們把碰面這件事放在讓人安心的館圖

藉此激勵自己，至少在成績決定之前

我們見證彼此用心與付出的一面

好像幾年前，也與某些逆旅在同一個地方、同一個時間點

從事著相同的事情

雖然思緒依舊打轉在autoregressive, moving average & integration的殘差概念

開始動筆寫網誌的瞬間，可以感覺：我的靈魂還有一口氣

這學期過了期末考便告終結

不自覺地會去回想與你們認識的第一眼、那一天

如果要一一陳述未免太過複雜

但至少回來這裡當學生的第一學期

我可以說：值得

現在陪著同學的時間也比家人多

所以在認識之後

會有更進一步的發展嗎？

生活是沒有預告連續劇

就讓彼此繼續扮演好自己的角色，對吧!?

最近對於閱讀blog有了新的想法

Why do you open a blog?

blog讓我們把日記活生生的攤在陌生人面前

當然，可能最初的目的是讓一些熟識的人閱讀自己

現在blog是邁向有名的工具也說不定...famous or notorious?

但是，對於日記部分，我認為也是一種"想要讓人分享"的逆向行為

也是所有聲色剝離之後，最主要的血與肉

藏匿得再好，總會期許一個自己認為"值得"的人去欣賞

但什麼樣的動機和目的，使得分享blog變得如此矛盾?

只有我感覺矛盾?

多數人未曾有此想法?

access free to the web blog，人手一Blog也不為過

如果說，不要分享太私人的事情

那放在這個訂製的空間裡的可以和虛無畫上等號嗎?

想像一個無所謂而為的blog

那麼，相較之下

雖然不能說出具體的答案

the reason I write the blog卻變得澄澈起來

Lesson 15 Hindsight

"Hindsight" by Etching and Aquatint 



After a buzz of business with papers and materials,

the final term is around the corner.

Last Saturday, I terminated the my second-run Eng. conversaiton class.

With the coming of the winter vacation and next semester,

I wonder if I shall do some plans for fullfillment.

I suppose that the parts of motivation come from the desperate breakaway.



Truely speaking...No, not now and not here.

Wait for all dust falling.

However, it may be lonely for me to have my goal come true...

If there is someone accompanying and improving through discussions with each other,

it may be helpful and sufficing, right?



Hindsight, perception of the nature of an event after it has happened.

and...some plans of my own were not executed so well,

then resolutions become necessary and important.

Hope I can achieve them perfectly this year and "feel relieved"(寬心).



Well, I thought everyone had had a nice cross-year with somebody or nobody.

No matter what kind of states you were,

just face the brand-new year from now on.

Additionally,

http://blog.sina.com.tw/wangjimi/

there are some references for the guide to every constellation.

Oops, and this week is the conflict between Mars and Pluto.

Hmm...it seems I will have a vibrant and shambling year of 2008.

Try my best to strive and survive.

But I have to get through my final-term first!







瑪法達 2008 星座大運-天蠍座

天蠍座 Scorpio

 

情感旺季：4月中到5月中、9月、10月

財富旺季：12月

年度叮嚀：執著理想別賤賣

 

掌握潮流　蜻蜓點水

 

人生活絡、到處吃香，具備靈敏嗅覺的流行教主。

可惜眼高手低，交友不慎。

對天蠍座而言，2008年可算歡欣鼓舞、左右逢源，意外插曲很多的一段豐富人生，也是一段並無單一方向和主題的短暫過渡。風塵僕僕、四處開拓，走在風尚潮流之先，將從不斷的嘗試錯誤中尋找人生答案。

和去年相較，整體運勢稍有上升。不同的是，面對生活的態度變得比較有幽默感，也較能懂得犒賞自己、及時行樂。精神與物質滿足兼顧，生活品質明顯改善。遺憾的是，恐有誤交損友、遇人不淑或遭人陷害之類的煩惱。

上半年事業較為波折多變。第一季尤其困難，得從既定行程中匆匆抽身，不少臨時狀況，往往弄得身心俱乏。加上4月開始守護星退行加入擾亂行列，心臟得足夠強壯才能應付混亂局面。8月有較出色的工作表現機會。

 

事業學業

 

天蠍座今年由於面對很多自己無法掌控的不確定性和意外變數，既有人生規劃和工作節奏全被打亂，必須優先處理很多急迫但卻未必重要的工程。現學現賣、短線因應、倉促迎戰等過渡性質措施，將讓這段時間無法留下很多深刻記錄。事業衝刺力道減緩，但工作策略靈活、調整快速、臨場表現也頗優，加上善於掌握潮流、突出賣點，趁勢包裝、行銷、造勢，將從各式歷練中，激發危機處理和體力智力潛能。短期進修、專業職訓、在學者，今年成績、考運不錯。

 

投資理財

 

天蠍座今年對賺錢興趣還是很濃厚，但財運已不如去年，尤其在第一季還很可能有遭竊或錯誤投資造成的金錢損失。主要開創財富的管道以和行銷、公關、通訊或出版有關的領域最有收獲。天蠍座對金錢有天分，每筆投資常勤做功課、深入研究，也常有意外之財，今年走正財運，適合金融、能源、貴錢屬等投資，要克制貪心，降低對金錢遊戲的過度迷戀，設停利點。

 

健康品質

 

天蠍座今年是自尋煩惱的多慮之年。煩惱投資、煩惱愛情、煩惱工作，操不完的心，擔不完的沈重負擔，但，那些其實都是，自找的。上半年來自主管的壓力明顯放大，心事往肚裡吞，最後很容易把壓抑的憤怒和壓力轉化為心理或腸胃疾病，最後連血液方面也得請專家檢查一下。記得把標準稍稍降低一些，放自己一馬，並避免鑽牛角尖。

 

愛情婚姻

 

天蠍座今年的愛情精彩、美麗，但不屬於天長地久那種。擁有不是目的，過程才是最重要。換個角度來看，談個清淺交會的戀愛，淺嚐愛情滋味，也算一大成長。但這種戀泰半不以責任為前提，所以不免有些風險。不少人選擇把友誼升級為愛情，但後續發展不盡理想。愛是瀟灑來去。

 

開運小物

 

幸運色：黑、酒紅

旺運石：琥珀、紅榴石

幸運花：櫻花

幸運日：星期二